Category: Uncategorized
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Still
Its been a little over 6 months since we said goodbye and the majority of the time I am still in shock. I find myself in an endless loop of emotions that circulate or rotate like a wheel day in and day out. I didn’t know that you could cycle through so many different emotions…
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If You Can Hold The Stars
”Stars by Skillet” ”If You can hold the stars in placeYou can hold my heart the sameWhenever I fall awayWhenever I start to breakSo here I am, lifting up my heart If You can calm the raging seaYou can calm the storm in meYou’re never too far awayYou never show up too lateSo here I…
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Dear Jake
Its been 165 days or 23 weeks & 4 days or 5 months and 12 days since you left us and entered your forever home. Time stopped that day at 11:19 am and yet time kept going. There hasnt been a moment that has gone by that I havent thought about you. A memory hasnt…
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A Shoulder to Cry On..
My relationship with God has always been a rocky one. If I were to use an analogy to describe it I would say its been like a roller coaster. There has been some high points and some very low points. If I am honest with myself and with you I would say that I became…
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A New World
Everything looks the same to those around you. The world hasn’t changed much, life itself seems like it has resumed normalcies. But to the ones who lost something so sacred the world has inevitably changed forever. It feels like you have been transported to an alternate universe. A post apocalyptic world by looking at appearances.…
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This Is Different
I haven’t been spared from intense feelings or going through difficult situations in my life. I have been rejected by people whether that’s in a business setting or personal relationship. I have been let go from jobs where I did not see it coming. I lived through a pandemic that seemed far fetched at the…
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A Grieving Father
I had a conversation with someone recently about my grief. They told me that Men and women grieve differently. I knew this, men and women do a lot of things differently. What they said next kind of took me by surprise. ‘’You grieve as a protector because you’re a father. Your jobs is to provide…
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Grief Feels Like..
Grief masks itself in many different emotions until the disguise comes off and you realize its grief. Grief looks like physical symptoms that can cause one to feel sick or cause some type of physical pain. For about a week or so after Jacob passed I noticed that I was having these excruciating pains in…
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Your Absence is Loud
I know that you’re gone and I wont get you back on this side but sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. I do whatever I can to survive the day and make to my bed. I close my eyes and I hope to see you there in my dreams. Yet. Wake up having missed…
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Grieve, But Do It Quickly and Privately
In the early days after losing Jacob time seemed to have come to a complete halt. Yet time kept moving and the world kept spinning. How can that be? How can the world continue on when one of your favorite people is no longer apart of it? How can I move on without a part…
Reflections From The Wreckage 